Sunday, 3 September 2017

An ode to my bingo wings and thunder thighs

Hi darlings,

It is September 2nd and thus in my opinion, the end of summer. While it is still stupidly humid outside in London, I am more than happy to put away my shorts and t-shirts and revert to my all black halloween aesthetic. Before I do however, I want to talk about summer, and what it's like as a curvier girl during the hotter months. When I was younger, wearing shorts would provoke this feeling of nausea and anxiety, because after all, fat girls couldn't wear shorts...could they? I had memories of wearing a pair of shorts and going cycling; on the way back, I remember a couple staring at me and laughing. I felt humiliated and wanted to curl in a ball and cry, I utterly loathed having to show my body off and thought I was the ugliest hippo going.

It was not until I reached university, and I started working on my confidence that summer began to not seem so daunting. It has taken a few years and I won't say I do not still have my wobbles over my...well...wobbles. This year in Cyprus, where I was for two weeks, it was daily 32/33 degrees and up, thus the time to expose ma body was nigh! I shan't sit here and say I was not daunted by the prospect, that first day, having to expose my pale wobbly thighs was terrifying. Even more so considering I spend most of the year totally wrapped up.

However, I did it. I spent two weeks wearing itsy bitsy bikinis (and the odd swimsuit), shorts, vest tops and a couple nice dresses, exposing my thunder thighs, belly rolls, bingo wings and all! There is so much pressure, for women especially, to look a certain way and be a certain weight. There is a stigma for all women around what we wear, what we eat, how we act and if I'm honest, it is a bloody joke! I put up an instagram about a week into my holiday where I was wearing my itsy bitsy black bikini, and while I was hesitant due to my stomach being less than toned in the photo, I felt the message I was trying to convey, important.

We get so hung up on every patch of cellulite, blobby stomach, thunder thigh and flabby arm, but the reality is, in 34 degree heat, there is no point getting hung up. Nobody has a perfect body, it does not matter if you are a size 4, size 12, or size 24, everybody has hang ups and everybody is on their own body confidence journey.  You cannot succumb to heat stroke, or spend your life wearing t shirts in the water, because in that moment, when you are by the pool, or on the beach, nobody is looking and nobody cares. This is such a valuable lesson and one I wished I had learned earlier in life, but I for one, refuse to miss out on moments because I think my thighs are too thunder-like; because yes my thighs are thunder, they are the storm, they are strong and they are powerful!

Everybody is sexy, beautiful and goddam powerful, so next summer, if you're at the beginning of your body confidence journey, or all the way there, strip off your layers and be summer body ready! It is a truth, that should be universally acknowledged, that the way to get a bikini body is to simply put a bikini on your body! Be confident, be beautiful and be happy!

Until next time

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